by Kathie England

Better Than Before – Day 2

Yesterday I introduced what Gretchen Rubin refers to in her book, Better Than Before, as the Four Tendencies she has observed that impact how people develop habits.

Today on Day 2 of my commitment to develop that blogging habit, I want to share more details common to individuals with these tendencies.

  • Upholder: Meets outer expectations and meets inner expectations
  • Questioner: Resists outer expectations and meets inner expectations
  • Obliger: Meets outer expectations and resists inner expectations
  • Rebel: Resists outer expectations and resists inner expectations

Rubin suggests that most people are either Questioners or Obligers. Very few are Rebels or Upholders. She proposes that our Tendencies are hard-wired. Though they can be offset somewhat, she believes they can’t be changed. However, she believes that with greater experience and wisdom, we can learn to counterbalance the negative aspects of our innate Tendency.

This perspective meshes with the ideas I’ll be teaching with Cameron Gott later this spring in a class called Coaching the ADHD Client: Awareness to Action. The focus of this class is the AEC Model which I’ve shared with nearly every client and in every presentation since I first took this class in 2011. A=Awareness, E=Engagement, and C=Completion. I will also use this model in the Making Time for Success calls I will be offering again a bit later this spring.